Friday, March 9, 2012

To Be Mental With Danger Mouse

It feels like aeons since I last chatted with everyone and I just can't keep all the possible crazy inside anymore. I say "possible" crazy because there seems to be a tendency here in the UK to hold people liable for just about everything/anything should they show any previous awareness of something that might cause harm or damage to someone else. For instance let's say you had a dog...

Being a responsible pet owner you post a sign on your property:

{images from here}

And let's say this really clever criminal decides to break into your property. Your loyal and protective dog goes after said criminal and bites him, mauls him, or generally terrorizes him just as you would hope any good guard-like doggy would do to someone who's illegally on your property. I have been given the impression, right or wrong, that if this criminal is captured and incarcerated, they can sue the pet owner for physical and mental damages. With that in mind I drew us up a new version for some plausible deniability:

Feel free to print off and use as many signs with plausible deniability as you need. It's my gift to all of us today.

Therefore, to maintain my plausible deniability about any possible craziness in my head should it cause someone duress, we will have to proceed with extreme caution. The last thing I need right now is a lawsuit because I put something out on the web that caused someone anxiety about their own mental state. 

Of all the stuff that potentially goes through my head, one could suppose things could get most interesting while I'm sleeping. Do you remember the time that fashion had so invaded my brain that I began dreaming about it? If it's happened once then it shouldn't really surprise too many people if it happens again. I mean would it really be all that big of a stretch to imagine someone like myself dreaming of being trapped in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker fighting something that looks like this?

{image from here}

 All while trying to save not just my sister, (because obviously why on earth would my brain contain this theoretical dream to just one video game), but a whole slew of ladies in waiting, Princesses, and heroines from just about any game you've ever heard of who are all wearing pieces from Giambattista Valli's Fall 2012 collection.

{images from here and here}

 I'm neither confirming nor denying that I actually had that as an actual dream or that the theoretical dream may have been interrupted by a child having nightmares. Remember, we're only speculating as to whether or not it would surprise anyone that I might have a dream of that nature. Plausible.Deniability. 

I can also neither confirm or deny that after putting a child back to sleep my mind may have been running over events about someone I know who was recently a victim of identity theft. When they went grocery shopping, a team watched them withdraw cash, managing to steal the persons pin number, followed them home, waited till they were alone, knocked on the persons front door, found a reason to be let in, and distracted the victim with one person while the other stole their bank card out of their wallet. 

Since I don't want to be accused of encouraging violence I'm definitely not admitting that the idea of someone following me home from the grocery store brings to mind this scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

Since it's been ages since I last got to post and I'm about to explode with the idea of getting to reconnect with everyone, I'm going to save the rest of this post for a later time. Before I continue though, I would like to hear from all of you! Do you guys ever get surprised at the possibilities your dreams present? Do you know anyone who's been a victim of identity theft and if so, how did it affect you?


  1. The altered dog sign cracked me up, totally what I needed this morning.
    I strangely don't dream (that I know) 95% of the time. 4% more is only in sound, no picture. It's super rare when I get a picture and I have always taken it to mean something. I have seen people that I have later met in real life for the first time. Just odd. Except for the one time I dreamed I was fighting vampires in a sewer (on a roller coaster within the sewer) with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. That one still hasn't come true yet.

  2. I have to agree with Cassykins

    I dont dream either! : (

  3. Apparently my great-grandma was a victim of it when she was younger. I never had the chance to talk to her about it, but judging from my grandpa's anger toward the issues, I feel safe in saying it really messed up things in her life.

    As far as dreams, mine are insane and I'll just leave it at that.

  4. I have to say, it's really messing with my head. I've found out that there are reports that this type of event has hit other local stores in the area and it has me super paranoid now. :( I'm walking through stores with crazy eyes on - looking at everyone as if they might be serial killers or something lol.

    I won't talk about the dream that now has me sitting up at 3:51 am replying to people on my blog. It's enough to say it was bad enough it scared me out of bed. I hate those kinds.

  5. Is it weird that I've had the same thing where I've dreamed about people and met them later in life? I totally just had it happen this week. I once read some scientific explanation about that kind of thing a long time ago but I don't know how much stock I've ever put in it. I can never have something like that happen without having at least a fraction of "huh, this whole moment is a bit odd" feeling. As far as the TMNT dream....well that's freaking awesomeness right there. They should do a whole new movie just based on that alone.

  6. Enjoyed your 'plausible deniability' redesign of the old 'beware of the dog' sign very much! And continued to enjoy the surreal plausible deniability of the rest of the post too.
    A friend of ours had her PIN number filmed via a pinhole camera in the ceiling of a dodgy garage. However, she was fortunate that the first time the perpetrators attempted to access her account, they did it from a country that her bank happened to know she wasn't in at that time - and she was immediately alerted to the attempted fraud.

  7. I don't know whether yo intended this post to be humorous in a sarcastic sense but I have found it so! Plausible deniability is now my phrase for the day. Having only recently acquired a debit card I am very conscious about identity theft and always make sure I have my pin covered completely with one hand whilst typing it with the other. It is a scary thought that people could be trying to steal my pin number, but it's just something that people need to be aware of - not preoccupied with - otherwise they get fixated on other negative aspects of modern living and that can't be mentally healthy for them.

  8. IlpiccolomondodicriMarch 18, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    hahahahahhahahahahahaha Sorry, it is a serious question, but I can't stop myself from laughing! hahahahahah

    Oh, ok! Well, about the dogs it can be an absurd but it is the law! The law is not always fair! E. g, if somebody get in your house and hurt herself, in some occasions you may be responsible! Thanks God, I never was victim of identity theft, but some of my clients are victim! :(

    And about your dreams... hahahahahhahahahahaa I'm surprised by my dreams everyday! And some dreams, from time to time, are repeated! I have a crazy one with Santa Claus!!! hahahahahahhahahahaha

    Have a blessed Sunday,

    ps.: I'm curious about the next post!!!!