Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Because Summer Is For Road Trips

Summers go by so fast for me. Keeping kids engaged and occupied is paramount. It can be exhausting because no matter how much energy I seem to have, they have more. Way.way.WAY.more. That's why I've begun strapping them in the car and hitting the roads. If there aren't pictures, there's no proof. So here they are...

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Not A Real Blog Post...Just A Bunch Of The Random

Ok so there are a ton of things that I appreciate in the world but then there's the crazy. Just flat out crazy. And I feel compelled to share all the crazy, both the real and the stuff that's just in my head, with all of you. Aren't you thrilled?

I have been having some amazing dreams. AMAZING I tell ya'. I hate talking about dreams. What's more, I hate listening to other people's dreams. They're often just weird, nonsensical and often disturbing jibber. And yet these were awesome for me. Two nights ago, I had a dream that I was Audrey Hepburn, being asked to wear a Prada original to my latest movie premiere. Not bad right? I mean I can see how it'd be bad if I was some sort of homophobic, extreme-introverted, male jock in real life. But I'm not. I'm a woman who loves fashion, vintage, and has a love for the Arts. That was great.

And then today while I was napping, (Yeah, my life is hard. I know.) I dreamt I was in a competition to be an assistant stylist that works with Garance Doré. The unfortunate part, was that I was trying to put together my entry for submission, while staying at a ski lodge as part of a security detail for a vampire couple who I was somehow related to. My current duty was to dog sit but someone at the lodge kept trying to set the place on fire. Yeah. See what I mean? Weird, nonsensical and even a bit disturbing. I was actually bummed when I woke up and discovered the stylist competition wasn't real. I blame the Vampire bit on a series I just finished called "Elemental Mysteries".

For my readers, I recommend a pass on this one. That's why I'm not going to even include a link to the series. I don't like to dash people's bubbles and I won't provide any spoilers in case any of you do decide to venture into them. I will however be honest and say, I literally felt myself get dumber from reading them. I was sucked in by 100's of 5 star reviews. The readers had to have been on crack. There's no other explanation. I only finished the series because I'm neurotic enough that I HAD to see what happened to the bad guy in the end. I can be big enough to at least say, "thank you" to the author for touching on enough subjects that I know nothing about, to light my intellectual curiosity. I have to redeem myself somehow. I have to learn something to compensate for the brain cells the series killed off.

Remember the real-life cray cray I mentioned? This isn't the actual text convo I had with my husband but it's the general gist:

Me: "I was just at the Farmers market stall, picking out items from the stall. An old couple just about attacked me over a chicken."

Him: "What? Why?"

Me: "I don't know. They weren't near it. They were standing back from the stall talking to each other when I approached. I couldn't understand a word they were saying but then there was spitting and hands flailing in my direction."

Him: "What did you do?"

Me: "I made devil horns with my fingers and stuck my tongue out at them. What do you think I did? I smiled at them, rolled my eyes at the cashier when I turned my back on them, bought my chicken and ran."

Him: "Oh. Well, at least you're away from them now right?"

Me: "True. But now, there's a flock of shoplifters being chased around me by a security guard."

Him: "Where the hell are you?!"

Me: "The grocery store. I have no idea what's going on. I just want to get my groceries and go home now."

And ladies and gentlemen, that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's a crazy world out there. Please tell me I'm not the only person this stuff happens to.