Wednesday, December 14, 2011

How Lucky Am I


Today, I'm going to pretend that no one reads my blog. Otherwise, I don't know if I can do this post.

After I moved, I started using blogging as a filler for all the friends I lost daily interaction with. I hoped I would be able to connect with new people through it and I have. I feel lucky to have found some really great friends. I've also wanted to use this blog to push myself outside of my comfort zone and that means being honest, open and at times being vulnerable. 

I lost a really great friend recently. I didn't get to say goodbye or go to the Memorial service and now, I just can't shake the whole thing.

I don't think it would be enough but I can't help thinking, "If I could just sit down with him and have one more conversation." Well, I can't. So this will have to do. 

Julius, I can't even begin to tell you how lucky I feel that I got to know you. You were one of the smartest, kindest, generous and funniest people I've ever met. Every time you came into the lab, everyone would throw their hands in the air and a chorus of "Juliuuuuss!" would ring out. That was the kind of joy you carried with you. You would have us all cracking up in no time. And your laugh! I think that was the best laugh that has ever been handed out in all history. It was deep, melodious and beyond infectious. I can not tell you how sad it makes me that I will never get to hear that laugh again. I will remember forever how all of us huddled in the employee lounge, behind a closed door, eating lunch, and laughing so hard that someone would have to come in and let us know we were disturbing the whole building. That, takes some special comedic talent. You lived an amazing life and I could never wait to see what you were going to do or say next. I hope that this finds you somehow. Know that you will always be loved by all of us and that we're all very aware of just how lucky we've been to know you. 

To my readers and friends, thank you. I can't tell you how much I've appreciated your friendship and support.

xoxo